I know I am so lost right now, but I know I am not alone in this. I just need to be a little stronger and a bit of patience.

Shall ride this through.

Btw Friday was the night that I broke my going-home-late-from-work record. Stepping out of office at 320am is hopefully not gonna happen again in a long long long long long time. However, I was happy. Not ‘workaholic-ishly’ happy but just feeling pretty warm inside from before. And having to evade traffic police at their temporary checkpoint by ducking ourselves under was quite exciting, since we have a bit of overloading problem. (I didn’t just write this out > <”) It’s all about the experience isn’t it.

Moving on to some more serious stuff…Half a year left for 2011, plus or minus.

I have 3 license to get hopefully…

1. Driving (At least I bought a book..like 3 years ago. Oh well..)

2. Advanced Diving (I can go into the water now Mom! Don’t listen to those monks who cheated your $$$!)

3. FA (50% done)

and there are some near goals to achieve with help. But just a small reminder to self.

One thing at a time.

..& Smile more  :)

Have you found what you are looking for? Or are you looking hard enough at it?

Are you treating life well instead of life treating you well?

One thing I am absolutely sure is that life doesn’t give a damn about you. You are the only one you can count on to fight for what’s yours and what you deserve.

And always remember, time is slowly ticking away, like it or not.

K

This post’s gonna be short, since I did nothing much as to celebrate this passing of the old and welcoming the new. Staying home during such a time proved to be slightly depressing and reclusive, but comfortable enough to induce me to miss a few people, watch a few movies, think a few thoughts and cook myself something special. Other than that, I did welcome this new year quite differently. I stepped into the shower when it was 2010 and stepped out in the following year!

As for 2011, I do have lots of serious goals to achieve. If I really have to reflect hard and make a few resolutions, I wish for 2011 to be a more fruitful year to come. I wish I will be more disciplined, that is to sleep early and eat and exercise regularly, basically take better care of myself. I wish I could be financially independent, pay for my own bills, manage my finances and take charge of running things here in Singapore on my own. I wish I could get a driver’s license asap. I wish for my parents to be reunited sooner. I wish for a clearer path to be paved ahead for my career. I wish I could resolve matters of the heart maturely and handle myself better. I wish I could learn more and excel in what I do.

Finally, I would like to wish for this new year to be more positive and happier than the last. I believe things will work their way out.

The thing worth mentioning is, I took great care in raising the small fries, from the stage which you probably need a magnifying glass to see clearly to what they have grown into now. Of course, many perished along the way most likely due to the laws of natural selection. Eventually 3 remained as the final team! I would like salute them for the fact that none of them died while I was on trip for an entire month. Only food was given as a lovely gesture by my neighbours, so the water was pretty gross at the end.

So I present to you, my AWESOME mollies!

Watch them begging for noms!

These guys keep me company in the night, when I do work or walk around in my room. They are constantly looking for attention and MORE food. Hope they will still have much time with me, especially the white boss who likes to bully the young ones.

Thanks for the awesome company.

Life is fragile. The line between living and dead is thin. And you are lucky to be alive.

Be grateful.

Anyway, life has been pretty stagnant here in Singapore. I am waiting for something to happen, waiting for myself to be released from some intangible leghold. Things took a turn for the worse when I found out that I had lost my passport after a trip to Australia had been confirmed and paid for, one that I had looked forward to for a long time. As time went by, all hopes diminished and finally the dream of going to a foreign land for some fresh air burst like a bubble. The six hundred over dollars just went down the drain. And the worst part was yet to come. The replacement cost of the passport and along it my ic, would add up to a total of over 400 dollars. Hence the total cost incurred would top up to a thousand over, which was an astronomical sum with respect to what I can afford! Last but not least, don’t forget the emotional turmoil that I was in. I guess it got me pretty depressed for a long time. I could not sleep properly and dreams of finding the passport just made me feel even more empty when I woke up. In the end, after much struggling, I took on the mentality of the escapist and decided not to deal with the problem anymore.

As a result, things procrastinated. I refused to remake my passport and IC, which inevitably spelt impending doom. However, one fine afternoon, fate or circumstances decided that I shall recover my lost items uneventfully from a DVD case that is in my drawer all these while. I must thank Brat Pitt for turning my fate around. He is brilliant! But at the mean time I wanted to murder myself for not wanting to watch the movies earlier.

Now thanks to the new found passport, I am at the airport, waiting to go through the gate, heading home. It’s unreal and uncertain for now… and worrying since I am a bit tight on budget… Hopefully it will be a good trip. It will be.

I am really infatuated with this song, and has been for a long long time. It reminds me of the times when I was so exhausted and drained from working the long and dry hours into the night.

It kept me sane.

I am lost again.

Because of you.

And I have to confess,

I am nervous about this.